|| Millennium Edition

I sat in the front of my Dell computer, 12 hours' of time, yet I'm just so joyful that I have come back to my own millennium Edition. Ironically, my life seems to be taking the same great journey back to where it wrecked during millennium.

10/28/2004
Capital Ale is a much better place for Thursday happy hours with colleagues. I walked in and found Kevin and Doug at the corner table, while Erich, Travis and Mike sat at the bar. They were already on their second glass of alcohol. The drink menu was 20 pages long.

"What should I drink?"
"I'll get you something."

So I had two bottles of Purple Haze, small Tsingdao size. Not sure if it was the alcohol, didn't quite remember the conversations taken place, but was sure there were plenty of those. Doug reminded me that I was on the invitation again for the Program 6 celebration. So I suggested we drop some hint about expensive restaurant and appetizer so Yoan could make the reservations. All of a sudden, we all feel a great deal of uncertainties, because Michelle and I are leaving the group, while Trident and IMC are becoming an integral part of the planning process. So much for the happy ending.

That same evening I had an appointment with Jian. I picked up the restaurant, didn't dare to mention that I was drinking right before. I couldn't help smiling when Jian insisted on separating the remainder of the food for both of us to take home. She wouldn't have a clue why I did that.

10/29/2004
A marathon of long distance phone call that lasted till the morning of the next day. I had some predictions based on two meets with a group of high school classmates, and was now told that the predictions were fairly accurate. Normally I would congratulate myself on my abilities of observing and comprehending, but couldn't have a single positive reaction after hearing this. Well, didn't I play tricks like these from time to time? I said I understand, but I don't like it. This comment is for that person, and me as well, but we are just fighting for that one more chance, if not the last chance. Then I was asked what my predictions are for the "you and me", and I was honest again, "not that good". I was thinking very consciously every minute "we" stayed together. I may have acted on my impulse for one in a hundred incidents, but I was very clear in my mind what could be expected. I said lots of things, but what I said was like what I wrote, was not paid attention to, so it was effectively rubbish.

10/30/2004
Now this computer deal gives me lots of lessons.

• Less is more, so only ask for what is absolutely necessary.
• Don't expect to cure the new problems with an old recipe without facing sacrifice.
• I can make do with the not-so-young-or-beautiful.
• Change is good, but the process of change is painful.
• I don't need tears or grief before getting things done.

So I worked on my computer for 12 hours straight, so much for a Saturday. I'm born to be a hard worker with subdued qualities, none of which is considered the greatest virtue of women in general, so they are effectively useless.

I wish that I could do some things different, to make "millennium" a good memory before I am at the end of the road, so far "millennium" still looks like something that's crafting my doom, so I don't know how I should wish myself ...