|| Nov 9 + the days afterwards, pvc, trigimeny, arrhythmia, heart disease, visa to heavan?

我们头上没有太阳，一直都是夜晚。但是却不觉得黑暗，我觉得自己需要夜晚，这样才能让我我生存下去。虽然并不明亮，但是足够让我走下去。你是我的太阳，虚 构的太阳,但是它不会放弃明天再次升起，它是我唯一希望。你是我的太阳，虚构的太阳，但却能让波光荡漾，照亮前进的路，是我唯一的阳光。好明亮，好明亮。
~~from 白夜行

On the ride back from Corcoran and the Old Ebbitt, I became very sick, heart fluttering, breathing difficulties with frequent urge to throw up, and finally vomited twice very badly even after the car got off the highways. I had not been car sick for 20 years, and it was gut wrenching discomfort as if my heart was about to be thrown out of my throat that I could not breathe at all. I had to visit the Patient First clinic and get a electrogram, which turned out to be wild that scared the medical staff completely. An emergency ambulance was called in although by the beats were slightly coming back to the regulars. I was immediately put on infusion, IV, and aspirins, very scared myself. So in a cotton gown, I was transported to the Henrico Doctor's Hospital ER, and of course it was busy scene and very dramatic, just as what you see in TV ER dramas, monitors, tapes, blood, questions, people hustles, and it was a true rescue efforts. A registry staff came up later and asked about a living will, omg, I replied that I do not want to think about it yet.

In a cotton gown and freezing cold, I was in ER for six hours, blood tests, x-rays, urine samples, questions and answers, and occasionally helping the patient beside me, an old chap who was being treated for respiratory disorders, to call for help. I wonder, am I finally getting a visa to heaven? Most of the tests that day turned out to be negative (meaning marginally OK and not harmful), then the ER doctor ordered the echo cardiogram. OMG, these are exactly what I was told that may happen to me six hours ago. The echo cardiogram taped the heart and its beats from different angles using ultra sound. The technician was rather rude, no eye contacts and no comments whatsoever. I thought they were not good signs. But I was finally released at 8pm that night. I drove home all alone, it was cold, it was raining, and all of a sudden, I felt a different person and I know life will never be the same.

The next few days were very distressing. I was not able to see the cardiovascular specialist who the ER doctor referred me to. There was a lot of arrogance in the administrative staff, but finally I got an appointment and was able to be seen after a week passed. More tests are ordered and are being performed, more blood works, stress tests, doctor's visits, all very tiresome, and then plenty of skipped beats, bigemy, and trigimeny that VT can happen right away, so of course I am very worried.

This blog is on hold forever.

|| Nov 9, Ansel Adams at Corcoran, Gallery of Art

Known primarily for his dramatic black and white vistas of Yosemite National Park in the Sierra Nevada mountain range, Adams was in fact a versatile photographer who made portraits of artist friends, close-up nature views, striking architectural and urban views, and documentary images. The exhibit is arranged chronologically and divided into several sections that include early works (mostly nature views of the mountains along the west coast), group f/64 (exploring the the more striking and straight technique), Yosemite, The American Southwest, Alfred Stieglitz and New York, the National Parks and Late Work.


This was a Thursday, so very fortunately we were not accompanied by any large crowds, but streams of people had never stopped, and I wonder how come that I had not discovered the gallery every time I come to visit the museum area. Ansel Adams offers new insight into the western iconic landscapes, Half Dome, Bridalveil waterfalls and etc, as if he is guiding me through the Yosemite park again. He writes very well, surprisingly in plain English what he attempts to do and how he uses the development techniques. My favorite is his early works reflecting the prevailing soft focus pictorialism, but you shouldn't take it that those are replicable via today's high-tech digital cameras, they were full of interpretations by Adams' usage of black and white, so sometimes he re-develops after some periods of time and they will be completely different in the eyes of the beholders. The more popular sharply focused wilderness views were beyond a photographer's artistic world, those were as I consider the more educated or influenced pieces of works. They are more reachable to the general public, very expressive and precise as if a standard message had been imprinted then penetrating the audience's hearts.

Annie Leibovitz's work is also on display. She is the photographer for the very modern celebrity, and many of the works can be found on Vogue, the Rolling Stones and Vanity Fair. Best known portraits of public figures, actors, politicians and family members, sometimes their own characters outspoke the talents of the photographer. An interesting observation is that a lot of the photos were poised with a bed or a lazy sofa where the characters loosely spread their bodies, arms and legs, and their eyes show a sense of helplessness or degradation of spirits as if they are drugged and cornered in a dangerous motel of some place. The beds all had white sheets, perplex enough.

Then had lunch in Old Ebbitt Grill, just off the corner from the white house, and of course, this is not your Maggiano or Cheesecake Factory chain, as a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some of these senior politicians, military heroes or famous statesmen come in and dine for lunch. The restaurant was very crowded on the Thursday, will not take walk-ins, of course. We made reservation and was led to a row of tables along the bar in the main atrium. Paintings on the top and side walls were biblical and historical. It is Washington's oldest saloon, founded in 1856.