|| Love Story

Today is Jim's last day here. He's going to Chicago, and to all my astonishment, he does not actually have a prospect of a profession, but just following a long time love of fifteen years. I never imagine Jim being the romantic kind, but stories like these are very moving, and indeed I cannot laugh at him, in the front of others. It is a personal pursuit, a passion and a promise, a sense and a sensibility. He said that he may go into photography that he has great interests in, that he is retiring from the finance profession. I see that people like Shekhar would never care about feelings like that. He is rude and rude, no respect, no taste, no everything. Every departure has a good and sad reason, but I congratulated Jim that he is leaving for a cause that I admire.

This is a delighted season, good-byes, meet-and-greets, all day long. Most recently, I had a real good laugh meeting an interesting couple. The man was addictive to golfing; the woman could hardly hold her tongue. Very comparable people together, and easy going, reminded me of the many who converse easily with people they are not acquainted with. They are just talented, instant bonding, and very welcome too, even when their comments are sometimes imprudent. But they are hardly anybody that we need, besides those good laughs, they are loud, they exaggerate, and they are not sensitive. They are good for each other, but I hardly relate to them at all.

|| Faith, Religion, Charity

As little as I ever want to provoke different opinions and argue for a thing that can never have a winner or loser, the ocasions arise that I have to face the questions, the remarks and criticism. And I am very less experienced in answering them, yes would sound like that I am easily persuaded, and no would sound like that I have little taste.

I went to a Saturday study group of a known charity group. In the United States, humans can hardly be social without being religious. I had not thought about exercising my prudent before agreeing to attend, 'cause it would be rude to ask such questions. The effect on me can rarely be guessed, Tammy didn't understand me, I am free thinking and free thinking I'd like to remain. It was Buddhism, many years since I last visisted a Buddhist temple, and never had any serious readings of its books. The religious leader for this group, as seen on a couple of Discovery people portraits, is a very smart and respectable person, she talks real, looks humane, and embraces the new world in many different ways. I strongly feel that the Asian culture, due to the large population and the bad history of being poor and less developed, requires a religion (new or old) to carry out an event that has impacts to the mass public. The approved and the non-approved societies in the past few years were all consequences of the history of the land and people, only religious groups, not business groups, can accomplish and conquer. Hence the US has Salvation Army, the Red Cross, Habitat for Humanity, Food Bank, and etc ... No one organization is associated with the most well known religious parties, there may be faith, such as mission statements, designed for spiritual enhancements, but they are faith, common sense, consciousness, not religion. In that city that they gathered, volunteers wore uniforms, followed rituals, and worshipped the leader. Hard to explain again, US only worships morals, values, and religions for maybe an hour on a Sunday morning, and those morals and values, although not talked about as often, they had those in the daily life; some others worship 24x7, never know how to live a life this is moral, with value.

Once I asked a friend what he considers to be mature, responsible, returning to the community. He says that himself being fine is the best return to the family and the society. It's self absorbing, in my opinion, to the family, to assume that they will have no need from the offspring, no matter how modest they have been; to the society, to ring fence one's responsibility as a single being. My own problem, rather, is not having the kind of determination that gets me into the actions. Tammy specifically requested that we not wait till retirement to act on the commitment, a small contribution, a big hand help while we are financially capable and physically healthy. My other problem is that I can be harsh, wanting more and quicker back from the people I help, but they have far more problems to deal with in their days of life, which I cannot see, and cannot help with.

|| White, Navy, Black, New Obsessions of Polka Dot

After two years of dull and disappointing displays of Euro taste, H&M is totally re-engineered this 2006 summer collection. Wearable, sensible, and conveniently inexpensive. I particularly like the nautical theme this year, sharp black and white stripes, navy blue sailor's patterns, very cotton everything, plus the new polka dots tops, skirts, blouses, dresses, oh, I long to have them all.

It is amazing how cotton can be so versatile, nothing at all how it is painted thirty years ago, that it was shapeless and design hopeless. Today the jersey wears are full of spirits and creations by the designers, and happily holding themselves well when they are on the bodies. I notice that the cotton material is cleverly replacing the status of chiffon in the high society, as it is said that nothing is born to be the princess, all is grown and presented, in the eyes of the beholder.

I bought a white dotted navy top, and a navy dotted white top, medium sized dots, but not the smallest, just felt that the smallest can't be the most desirable on cotton materials. As simple as the design can be (without too much of a color scheme, of course), the polka dots are rather formal wear, and I can think of no other occasions but evening outings, or maybe business casual (with a cardigan). Polka dots have that superior quality that is no other than the designers who, like the pucci, try too hard on the geometric patterns or the color arrangement. They are, however, hard to wear to bring out the foreverness, of the dots or of the owner.

These magazine scans are from the 2006 May issue of Vogue, with Keira Knightly on the cover page, and featured story when she was shooting the Pirates of the Carribeans. The fashion world can be so diverting, that seeing all polka dots, and just black, white and navy, is very bold. However, people have different countenance with one face, so the polka dots, even when they are on the same face, will always look very different. And she was understood very well, as all polka dot wears suited her and complimented her, greatly influenced me in many ways in the summer of 2006.

|| Outward Bound

Hardly did I come back from the island that I had to deal with an important loss of an alliance, although itself being a short period of acquaintance, it has certainly left me a great deal to digest. It was the last two days that Ju stayed in Richmond, so we had a final dinner together, just between the two of us, at Mama Cucina.

People are interesting creatures. For some, I have to be persistently inquisitive and ask questions to make out their characters; for others, their own assertiveness saves me the trouble. They can be shy or even modest, but there is a certain something inside the nature of the being that comes out when there is a true connection, that makes them impress effortlessly.

They are both stimulating companies, one is forgiving, for reasons of not having the regrets, not feeling the pressure, not accomplishing the incremntals; the other is anything but forgiving, for reasons of not being content, not staying flat. The middle ground, where I am stuck with, is the worst that I cannot forgive, yet I cannot not forgive. It has been more than about the obvious, 4+ years in one place with moderate advancement, my other attitudes are just becoming more wholesome. I have not allowed myself to be content, yet I have not shown the strength to be determined, and I can't make amends to myself for the pain.

It's a puzzling life. We ate very little, but talked most of the time. She related to many experiences that added to the present, and I came to realise the threads had been very thoughtful. At such a young age, she is very decided and has been executing with great profession. Often times we allow ourselves, or excuse ourselves for the mistakes, to be less grown up in prior years, to be less conforming to the society, to be just different from the rest of the world. I see it is a flaw, or I have to admit that it is a flaw. I have not been wise.

The bar deck by the water side, to hear the sea birds crying out loud, to look at the sunset shedding golden lights on the wooden fence, to drink a cold beer ... I have not forgotten. The busy Italian restaurant by the short pump crossroads, to talk about the incrementals, to look up to the contentious qualities, to save the future with how-s ... I am mortified. And after that, I am left all alone, old alliance all gone, and things repeat on themselves, if my fingers are not moving fast enough.