|| Nov 9 + the days afterwards, pvc, trigimeny, arrhythmia, heart disease, visa to heavan?

我们头上没有太阳，一直都是夜晚。但是却不觉得黑暗，我觉得自己需要夜晚，这样才能让我我生存下去。虽然并不明亮，但是足够让我走下去。你是我的太阳，虚 构的太阳,但是它不会放弃明天再次升起，它是我唯一希望。你是我的太阳，虚构的太阳，但却能让波光荡漾，照亮前进的路，是我唯一的阳光。好明亮，好明亮。
~~from 白夜行

On the ride back from Corcoran and the Old Ebbitt, I became very sick, heart fluttering, breathing difficulties with frequent urge to throw up, and finally vomited twice very badly even after the car got off the highways. I had not been car sick for 20 years, and it was gut wrenching discomfort as if my heart was about to be thrown out of my throat that I could not breathe at all. I had to visit the Patient First clinic and get a electrogram, which turned out to be wild that scared the medical staff completely. An emergency ambulance was called in although by the beats were slightly coming back to the regulars. I was immediately put on infusion, IV, and aspirins, very scared myself. So in a cotton gown, I was transported to the Henrico Doctor's Hospital ER, and of course it was busy scene and very dramatic, just as what you see in TV ER dramas, monitors, tapes, blood, questions, people hustles, and it was a true rescue efforts. A registry staff came up later and asked about a living will, omg, I replied that I do not want to think about it yet.

In a cotton gown and freezing cold, I was in ER for six hours, blood tests, x-rays, urine samples, questions and answers, and occasionally helping the patient beside me, an old chap who was being treated for respiratory disorders, to call for help. I wonder, am I finally getting a visa to heaven? Most of the tests that day turned out to be negative (meaning marginally OK and not harmful), then the ER doctor ordered the echo cardiogram. OMG, these are exactly what I was told that may happen to me six hours ago. The echo cardiogram taped the heart and its beats from different angles using ultra sound. The technician was rather rude, no eye contacts and no comments whatsoever. I thought they were not good signs. But I was finally released at 8pm that night. I drove home all alone, it was cold, it was raining, and all of a sudden, I felt a different person and I know life will never be the same.

The next few days were very distressing. I was not able to see the cardiovascular specialist who the ER doctor referred me to. There was a lot of arrogance in the administrative staff, but finally I got an appointment and was able to be seen after a week passed. More tests are ordered and are being performed, more blood works, stress tests, doctor's visits, all very tiresome, and then plenty of skipped beats, bigemy, and trigimeny that VT can happen right away, so of course I am very worried.

This blog is on hold forever.

|| Nov 9, Ansel Adams at Corcoran, Gallery of Art

Known primarily for his dramatic black and white vistas of Yosemite National Park in the Sierra Nevada mountain range, Adams was in fact a versatile photographer who made portraits of artist friends, close-up nature views, striking architectural and urban views, and documentary images. The exhibit is arranged chronologically and divided into several sections that include early works (mostly nature views of the mountains along the west coast), group f/64 (exploring the the more striking and straight technique), Yosemite, The American Southwest, Alfred Stieglitz and New York, the National Parks and Late Work.


This was a Thursday, so very fortunately we were not accompanied by any large crowds, but streams of people had never stopped, and I wonder how come that I had not discovered the gallery every time I come to visit the museum area. Ansel Adams offers new insight into the western iconic landscapes, Half Dome, Bridalveil waterfalls and etc, as if he is guiding me through the Yosemite park again. He writes very well, surprisingly in plain English what he attempts to do and how he uses the development techniques. My favorite is his early works reflecting the prevailing soft focus pictorialism, but you shouldn't take it that those are replicable via today's high-tech digital cameras, they were full of interpretations by Adams' usage of black and white, so sometimes he re-develops after some periods of time and they will be completely different in the eyes of the beholders. The more popular sharply focused wilderness views were beyond a photographer's artistic world, those were as I consider the more educated or influenced pieces of works. They are more reachable to the general public, very expressive and precise as if a standard message had been imprinted then penetrating the audience's hearts.

Annie Leibovitz's work is also on display. She is the photographer for the very modern celebrity, and many of the works can be found on Vogue, the Rolling Stones and Vanity Fair. Best known portraits of public figures, actors, politicians and family members, sometimes their own characters outspoke the talents of the photographer. An interesting observation is that a lot of the photos were poised with a bed or a lazy sofa where the characters loosely spread their bodies, arms and legs, and their eyes show a sense of helplessness or degradation of spirits as if they are drugged and cornered in a dangerous motel of some place. The beds all had white sheets, perplex enough.

Then had lunch in Old Ebbitt Grill, just off the corner from the white house, and of course, this is not your Maggiano or Cheesecake Factory chain, as a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some of these senior politicians, military heroes or famous statesmen come in and dine for lunch. The restaurant was very crowded on the Thursday, will not take walk-ins, of course. We made reservation and was led to a row of tables along the bar in the main atrium. Paintings on the top and side walls were biblical and historical. It is Washington's oldest saloon, founded in 1856.

|| Theatricals

Two weeks ago on a Friday night, I drove two hours then rode one hour metro, and that is just one way, to the Verizon Center for a two and a half hour concert from Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Luxury corporate box, premium catering, and Marc Anthony draws you in in five seconds.

This is the second time in the year that I've visited the Verizon Center, there was a ice hockey game in the spring time. Live sports pump you up, and live music makes you dance. Unexpectedly, the audience was on the mature side 'cause I originally thought the night belonged to Jennifer Lopez. I could literally sing each and every song from her, and she seems to be far more penetrating to the mainstream US public than her husband does. But live music is the place that true talent shines, and it is all Marc Anthony. I wasn't at all interested in him, being short, old, and dry compared to the glamorous wife, but, but, but, I am beyond my words on the talents he possessed, and I was completely blown away with his songs, the Hispanics spirits, and the opportunity of being in the live show.

Will spend the Thanksgiving week with some friends in New York. Just spent hours researching whether we can do a show night :-) lots of musicals, but not much of any classicals in either concert or ballet. My personal choices, in the musicals, is Les Miserables and the Phantom of Opera. These don't fit into the holiday season, but comedy musicals aren't really my thing either. A concert is not just sound effect, it is culture that you feel you became when you see him kneeling on the floor and kissing it. He commands the stage, the people and the night. I wish that I could have better words ... all right, what shall we do in NY for a show night?

|| ホタル ノ ヒカリ

The air is very cool when I got up in the morning, and I changed to my favorite abercrombie pajama pants. The summer is gone, the season when cold drinks are at their best. I sit on the staircases, looking at the trees and grasses, thinking how serene and peaceful the time has been, as if there is such a place called the backyard, and lean on it after a day's work, that I return to being myself. Last summer, this summer, next summer, that I can always have a place and a time that I am just myself.

ホタル ノ ヒカリ (Hotaru no Hikari). A Japanese TV which shockingly is restoring the faith of living the true self in me, I can only declare that this is the best gift from heaven and in the summer of 2007. I confess everyday that I have been hoping what comes around goes around, or the other way around. But there is a third way, which is I do not care, and all I want is living a happy life that I feel good about. There is no right or wrong answer, an answer is the answer that we hold on to. Summer is the best season in the year, but I wasn't having a heart to appreciate what summer has that the other seasons lack. It is coming back on me, through the story of an uptown girl who has the courage to be true both inside and outside the house. I am happy and proud that I have not lost myself, I am free and I have a wonderful future that I have the control of.

It grows in me a renewed interest in new things but with a nice heritage to a past. The summer of 1994 in Tokyo is a life time chance which is still influencing me to this date. The cities, the streets, the shops, the food, the fashions, the make-up ... only people who live there know the true colors. I am recovering. I am reflecting. I will live well.

Today while the blossoms
still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries
I'll drink your sweet wine
a million tomorrows
shall all pass away
are we forget all the joy
that is ours today

|| Asian heritage along the west coastal areas

|| Los Angeles

The Hollywood sign on the mountain was originally designed to sell real estate.

Me standing on Rodeo drive, the top keeps me in line with the fashionable LA

Farmer's market at 3rd and Fairfax, lots of stands that guarantee that you find your food.

The new Paramount front gate

The roof top of this train station was specially designed for the downtown China town

The Chinese theatre

Hollywood bowl

Kodak theatre, where Oscar is held

Bruce Lee on the walk of fame

Beverly Hills sign

Santa Monica beach and the live concert



Views from Orchid Suites

Chinese theatre
s

|| Monterey, 17 miles